A smile a day keeps the bad feelings away.

I was reading Vikram’s post (“The world suffers a lot. Not because of the violence of bad people, but because of the silence of good people!”) about love and hatred in the world, and it got me thinking…

I’m not perfect and I do find myself ‘disliking’ (a much better word Vikram, thank you!) certain people. This is usually based on their attitudes or the way they treat people. I think it’s important, wherever possible, to lead by example though.

In the world we live in, if you target one person others tend to home in like sharks catching the scent of blood in the water. Next thing you know, you have one very wounded individual who may very well go on to spread this feeling of discontent and low self esteem (this is often how bullies are made).

I think that if you find someone you really can’t get on with, and you can’t work out a mutual understanding, you have two choices that I can think of:

1) Walk away. Avoid any interaction if you feel it will only lead to arguments or ill feelings.
2) Keep your communication down to only the essential – be polite and courteous, but not familial – think ‘professional’. This way you will no doubt confuse the object of your distaste but, at the same time, you are showing how individuals should treat each other, even if they don’t get on.

In the words of Aretha Franklin: R-E-S-P-E-C-T

We humans are a fickle bunch. We’re quick to anger and throw people, who were previously favoured individuals, out to the wolves.

When I think of humans and how they often negotiate with each other, I think of Gerard Butler booting the poor fool down the pit screaming: “This is Sparta!”

Do you disagree?

Take our ‘wonderful’ leaders that have always been so quick to stab each other in the back, break treaties; lying and cheating their way to the top. No, I know that we’re not all politicians and leaders. But just look to your workplace and tell me if you can name just one person who would offer you a smile as they give that knife a turn. Anyone come to mind?

We’re a bunch of freaking Neanderthals-in-denial. We think because we’ve invented fancy gadgets, upgrading our shit huts to buildings of stronger stuff that somehow we are not who we were.

The instincts to survive are still there. We will still fight to protect our family, we will gulp down air if we fear deprivation, we will hack, slash and claw our way to the top to prove ourselves worthy of survival. Darwinism, baby. We’re just more sly about it (sorry, ‘sophisticated’).

I see the light

Alas! For all the world is doom and gloom as people lie dying in ditches of their own doing. The world is coming undone.

As I sit here and procrastinate (I should be writing my novel), I am aware that there is much hardship in the world. There is death, disease, war, and hatred. I am not preaching that we should all grasp for each other’s hand and skip merrily into the sunset, but merely that we evaluate how we see the world and how we play our part.

Yes, we all have to survive in a ‘dog-eat-dog’ world but does that mean we have to be yet another dog? Can we not transcend and show them it is possible to be a better person, a kind and compassionate person, whilst still achieving what you want in life.

Maybe you don’t feel this is possible if your sole occupation is based on tearing out people’s hearts (metaphorically speaking, I hope), and if you’re happy that way then good for you. But that’s it. Have fun in your selfish world, I hope you live a long and fulfilled life in your solitude for you would have surely destroyed everybody else’s spirit in your success. You deserve a pat on the back for such dedication.

One step back, two steps forward

This isn’t about who is right and who is wrong. It’s about building a better world for everyone. One in which we actually give a shit about the person who lives next door so that you’d actually notice if they didn’t leave their house for days. The kind of world where you stop to ask if someone’s ok if they fall/crash their car/you walk into them.

They are not unreasonable adjustments to lives we live but it is about being more aware of our environment and those that inhabit it also. Being more considerate to others on our way.

You may not realise how much a smile may change a stranger’s day.



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13 responses to “A smile a day keeps the bad feelings away.

  1. This article is reblogged as a discussion in my blog! Thanks Kelly! Hugs! 🙂

  2. Pingback: Reblog: “A smile a day keeps the bad feelings away” by Kelly Cautillo. « Vikram Roy's Blog

  3. Well written & a nice addendum to Vikrams post. I try to live my life without predujice especially since my injury, it is hard work & requires constamt effort.

  4. Hi Kelly, My blog is about doing what you say “Building a better world for everyone”. Here is my latest post, a spiritual poem by my partner Kay…

    When eyes see beauty,
    And ears hear laughter,
    When the senses are awakened to the day’s fresh fragrances,
    When mouths speak only kind and guiding words,
    When arms embrace,
    When hands help,
    When fingers no longer point,
    When legs march only for peace,
    When feet dance in joy,
    When minds unite to create good,
    And there is respect for all,
    Then the heart and soul will sing with love.


    If all of humanity followed these principles, no doubt the world would be a better more peaceful place do you think?

    Perhaps you would like some of the other posts on my blog.

    • Thank you for your comment Peter and yes, you’re very right. If people spent less time about worrying about who to blame and more time concentrating on supporting and showing compassion, we truly would have a far better world.

  5. So true indeed…when I was in college I used to do this thing where I’d set out to try to make 3 people minimum smile everyday. Come to think of it, that played a huge part in my getting over the issue of shyness. I’d usually use simple, silly, stupid jokes as my “weapons” of choice. I can’t remember ever have it backfiring. Who knows how much I might have affected someone’s life just with that gesture.

  6. “It takes no talent to be rude,” my elder’s coupled with, “All you must be is polite.” I do not have to succumb to my ambition, my fears, my hurts. I just have to be polite, always.
    Nigh unto impossible.

    • I have to disagree – I think it can take a lot of talent to be rude. I have heard some very creative insults bandied about, but that doesn’t make them acceptable. I even heard a kid going around calling us grownups “geriatric ball bags”. I had to laugh!

  7. exactly my state of mind today – or shall i say often-times?
    i totally agree to your way of thinking!
    – We humans are a fickle bunch – oh yeah!!!

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